GRIEF & BEREAVEMENT

Grief is a deeply personal experience that affects us all differently, especially when navigating loss during significant times of the year, like the holidays. During such times, emotions can run high, and the weight of missing a loved one can feel even heavier.

Understanding the stages and personalities of grief can offer insight into how to cope during this difficult period, helping you honor your emotions while seeking ways to heal.

The 5 Stages of Grief

Grief is often described as a series of stages that people move through when dealing with loss. While these stages are not experienced in a set order, they can provide a framework for understanding the emotional journey that comes with bereavement.

• Denial: This first stage serves as a shock absorber. It's the mind’s way of processing the immediate reality of loss and can protect you from feeling overwhelmed. It may feel like the person you lost isn’t truly gone, and the world around you seems unreal.

• Anger: Once the reality sets in, feelings of frustration and helplessness can turn into anger. You may feel angry at yourself, others, or even the person who passed. Anger can be directed toward a higher power or the unfairness of the situation.

• Bargaining: During this stage, you might try to make deals or promises, wishing you could undo the loss. It’s common to replay "what if" scenarios, wishing you had done something differently to prevent the death.

• Depression: As the reality of loss settles, feelings of sadness, hopelessness, and despair are natural. You may find it difficult to get out of bed or perform daily tasks. It’s important to acknowledge this sadness as part of the healing process.

• Acceptance: This final stage doesn’t necessarily mean that the grief is gone, but rather that you've reached a place of peace with the loss. You begin to find a way to live with the grief and integrate it into your life, moving forward while cherishing the memories of your loved one.

How to Cope with Grief During the Holidays

The holiday season, filled with family gatherings and festive traditions, can magnify the absence of a loved one. Coping with grief during the holidays requires patience and self-compassion. Here are a few strategies:

• Honor the Memory: Create new traditions in honor of your loved one. This could include lighting a candle in their memory or cooking their favorite holiday dish.
• Reach Out for Support: Don’t hesitate to lean on friends, family, or professionals. Sometimes just talking to someone who listens can ease the emotional weight.
• Give Yourself Permission to Feel: Grief doesn’t take a holiday. If you feel sadness, anger, or even joy, allow yourself the space to feel those emotions. It's okay to not be okay.
• Plan for Downtime: If you feel overwhelmed, give yourself permission to skip certain events or take a break from social obligations. Taking care of your emotional health is crucial.

The 5 Personalities of Grief

In addition to the well-known stages of grief, people also experience grief in different ways. These personalities can offer additional insight into the various ways grief manifests and help you identify how you may respond to loss.

1. The Nomad

The Nomad personality experiences grief like an emotional rollercoaster. They move through the stages of grief in a non-linear fashion, jumping between denial, anger, sadness, and acceptance. This rollercoaster ride can make them feel disoriented or exhausted. For them, the grief is unpredictable, and they may find themselves crying one moment and feeling numb the next. Their journey may seem erratic, but this is a natural part of their healing process.

2. The Memorialist

For Memorialists, grief is often expressed through a deep attachment to the memories of their loved one. They hold on to keepsakes, write letters, or keep a journal to preserve the person’s spirit. Their grief may involve constant reflection, and they may feel a need to revisit memories through photos, songs, or old letters. This allows them to feel close to the deceased, though it can also make letting go more difficult.

3. The Normalizer

The Normalizer seeks to return to the way life was before the loss. The world feels too chaotic or broken, and they long for stability and normalcy. They may distract themselves with work or other routines to avoid the discomfort of facing their emotions. Normalizers often try to recreate the life they had, which may sometimes delay the healing process. It’s important for them to allow space for new experiences that don’t erase the memory of their loved one but instead honor it.

4. The Activist

The Activist personality often turns their grief into action. They find a higher cause or a meaningful purpose in the aftermath of loss, channeling their emotions into advocacy or charitable work. By helping others, they feel as though they can honor their loved one’s memory in a way that creates positive change. Their grief may push them to make a difference in the world, and their sense of purpose can bring healing through service.

5. The Seeker

The Seeker’s grief leads them to a deep introspective journey. They may turn to religion, spirituality, or philosophical reflection to understand the meaning of life and death. This search for purpose may involve meditation, prayer, or self-reflection, and it can lead to a personal transformation or awakening. Seekers often believe that their grief serves as a path toward understanding a higher purpose or connection.

Need Support? Resources for Grief Assistance

If you’re struggling with grief, especially during the holidays, it’s important to reach out for help. Talking to a therapist, counselor, or support group can provide comfort and guidance during this challenging time. Here are a few helpful hotlines and resources:

• National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-800-273-TALK (1-800-273-8255)
• Grief Support Helpline (American Hospice Foundation): 1-800-364-3424
• Crisis Text Line: Text HOME to 741741
• The Compassionate Friends: 1-877-969-0010 (for families who have lost a child)

Remember, grief is a personal journey that doesn't have a set timeline. Be kind to yourself, and allow yourself to grieve in your own way and on your own terms. Whether you’re experiencing grief as a Nomad, Memorialist, Normalizer, Activist, or Seeker, it’s important to acknowledge your emotions and find healthy ways to cope during this challenging time.

Grief can be isolating, but remember that you are not alone in your journey. Whether through understanding the stages of grief, identifying your grief personality, or reaching out for support, there are paths to healing. Take one step at a time, and be gentle with yourself as you navigate the waves of loss.